I Just Want You To Know Who I Am
by Murderous.Medusa
Summary: Ryan and Brendon's first stage kiss just might be tragic. Panic! At The Disco, Ryan Ross and Brendon Urie. I might make this into a chaptered fic, it depends. The second chapter is not for little kiddies, be warned.


**Title:** I Just Want You To Know Who I Am  
**Pairing:** Rydon aka Ryan Ross and Brendon Urie  
**Warning(s):** Nothing really, just fluff, and a little cursing  
**Summary:** _"I Don't Want The World To See Me, 'Cause I Don't Think That They'd Understand, When Every thing's Made To Be Broken, I Just Want You To Know Who I Am."_  
**Author's Notes:** My first fic, you can be as brutal as you want :  
**Dedication:** My lovely best friend Becky :  
**Disclaimer:** As real as Oprah's hair. P.S. the song title and summary belong to the Goo Goo Dolls, not I.

**Ryan's POV**

10 minutes...

10 minutes until I put on that happy face like nothing is wrong.

10 minutes until Bren fakes that sweet affection that I wish was real.

However, over an hour I think until I can get off on that sweet fake affection.

"Ry, you okay?" Brendon asked sweetly placing his hands on my shoulders.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine Bren, why?"

"Because it's less than ten 'til we go on and your makeup isn't done."

"Fuck," I muttered, "its okay, I'm almost done."

Brendon just nodded and went on his way.

I finished the intricate patterns of my makeup, stood and looked at myself.

There, in the mirror I saw a skinny pale boy, with large doe brown eyes, with soft brown hair, jutting out hipbones and an incredibly heavy heart.

I hear Bren doing his usual ritual of singing 'Classifieds' by The Academy Is... And when he got to my favorite part I couldn't help but quietly sing along "Take him up for just 9.95, he'll sing the songs you like, he'll keep you warm at night, at night."

I smiled and stood in the doorway. "Hey Bren, you ready to give the teenies a show?"

"Definitely Ry, first on stage kiss sound fun?"

I chuckled and blushed. "Sure, once they get that on YouTube, teenies all over the world will be creaming their pants."

Spencer and Jon had finally come out of the dressing room hair tousled and faces flushed.

Bren and I looked at each other but didn't say a word.

"I see you guys are ready to go," Spencer said while twirling a drumstick and kissing Jon's cheek, while Jon picked up his bass and the pair walked onto the stage.

The crowd went into an uproar, I picked up my guitar and Brendon turned on his microphone, "You ready for this babe?"

I nodded, closed my eyes, sighed and opened them. I walked out onto the stage, lights blinding me for a second. I blinked rapidly and recovered from the glare.

I put on a shy smile and walked over to my place on the stage.

After I had my guitar plugged into my amp, Bren walked out excitedly calmly.

We went through the usual spiel at the beginning of the show.

So far, the songs and real fake affection had gone routinely.

My breath hitched in my throat when it was time to play 'Lying'.

I did my best to even out my breath while Bren recited 'Monstrous Fucking'.

He made his way over to me during the whole, I guess you could call it, poem.

Right when he was saying the ending of it, his forehead was against mine.

When he was dome, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine.

Immediately we heard gasps and screams.

He pulled his soft lips away from mine, and we began to play 'Lying'.

We continued the show playing normally now.

Bren did the usual groping and kissed my cheek occasionally.

Bren and I both knew the teenies were hoping for another full on kiss, but they weren't getting one on stage at least.

When the show ended, Spencer and Jon bombarded us with questions. Jon's were directed toward Brendon and Spencer's to me.

I had a feeling what Jon was asking Brendon but I paid it no mind.

Spencer was asking me a million questions a second, but I did manage to catch a few. He asked if it was a real kiss, was it planned, and if I enjoyed it.

Frankly, I didn't think the last question was any of his business, but whatever.

"Spee, relax it was planned, and um yeah, I have to get this makeup off, I'll talk to you later Spee."

I quickly walked into my dressing room, locked the door, and began to take off my makeup.

Once that task was finished, I changed into a pair of tight jeans, a fitted shirt and my Nike's.

**Brendon's POV**

"Shit," I muttered as I closed the dressing room door.

My pants still hadn't loosened since the kiss with Ryan, thank god he didn't notice well maybe not he probably would've taken care of it.

I quickly peeled my shirt and pants off, and then changed into a tight green shirt and black jeans.

I opened my dressing room door and looked out.

Jon and Spencer were nowhere to be found and Ryan's dressing room door was still closed.

I grabbed my stuff and knocked on the door.

"Ry, you okay?"

Ryan opened the door looking sleepy with his stuff in his hands.

"Yeah Bren, I'm okay-" he let a yawn past his cute, pouty lips, "just a little tired."

We walked back to the bus together occasionally exchanging small mischievous, Cheshire cat like grins.

When we got on the bus Spencer was reading a magazine and Jon was nowhere in sight.

Spencer flashed us a devious grin as we walked to our bunks.

I slid into my bottom bunk across from Ryan's and he slid into his.

**Ryan's POV**

I took out my black iPod video, given to me by Spee for my birthday.

I quickly turned on BMTH listening to Oli's soothing guttural growls and screams.

A small smile graced my lips as I remembered the night Oli fucked me after he had played a show that I just so happened to be at.

I closed my eyes as I relived what happened that night, our sweat slicked skin sliding against each other and oh how he had moaned- my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Spencer climbing into the bunk above me.

I sighed, I could feel emo!Ryan emerging so I quickly turned on 'Cat and Mouse' but The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus fueling my mood.

I began to sulk and cry because Brendon didn't once talk to me about the kiss even though I hadn't brought it up, and you'd have to have gouged your eyes out with sporks to not notice the boner he had.

By the time I had switched to 'Waltz Moore' and listened to it over seventeen times Jon must have noticed I had just stopped crying.

"You okay RyRo?"

Geez, everyone has been saying that to me lately.

I pouted and mumbled, "I guess."

"You wanna come and finish the last carton of vanilla soy ice cream," he said trying to coax me out of my emo mood.

I nodded and stood up glumly.

Jon grabbed my hand and led me to the couch where he had Lady In The Water playing.

"How'd you know I loved that movie?"

"Any movie you cry at is automatically put under 'RyRo's Favorite's."

I giggled as Jon sat down and pulled me next to him.

I grabbed a spoon and began to eat the ice cream as the movie began to play.

By the end of the movie the ice cream was long gone and I was sitting in Jon's lap cuddled up to him.

Jon wrapped his arms around my waist and nuzzled his head on the back of my neck.

I ran a hand through his soft brown hair as he began to lay soft kisses on my neck.

"You know you're amazing right?"

"Well now I do, Jonny boy."

He turned my face to his and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

I heard a soft gasp, Jon, and I both looked up to see Brendon walking away.

"Shitfuck," I muttered.

"It's okay hun, go," Jon said after he gave me a kiss on my temple, pushed me up towards the bunks and slapped my ass for good measure.

I giggled and sarcastically glared at him.

When I got to Bren's bunk the curtain was close so I pushed it aside.

"Ry, why?"

"It was the only way-"

"The only way to do what, break my heart?" He asked interrupting me and turning to face me.

"The only way to get you to notice me, because 'I just want you to know who I am'."

He pulled me down to lay on his bunk facing him and closed the curtain behind me.

He leaned his forehead against mine and our lips met softly, sweet, and romantic, but also roughly and hungry.


End file.
